August 17, 2013

Growing Up

My summer is officially over.
Every time I come home I say the same exact thing. Where did the days go. This break went by way too quick. What did I do with my life. I don't want to go back to school. But seriously, what did I do this summer, why does it seem like i've only been home for two weeks and why do I feel like this school semester is going to be so dreadful.

I still find it quite hard learning how to grow up and become my own person. But, who doesn't? Living in a whole different state, 2000+ miles away from home is difficult. Throughout the school year the students go home as much as possible to their loving homes. As for me and the rest of the students who don't exactly live driving distance we have to suck it up and learn to live with skyping, talking on the phone and texting our loved ones. 

I myself, am the baby in the family. I've always been taken care of, always been so dependant on others, always been so.. needy. During these past two years I have learned so much about the world, myself and just how exactly I fit into society. I'm growing up, and it scares me so much to the point I want to just collapse on the cold hard ground and lay there, stare up at the sky, breathe, and not worry about anything going on in the world. Just me and the world, with nothing but the sound of the wind, leaves swishing around in the trees, and the sound of bugs crawling all around me.

So what exactly did I do this summer? I sat on my ass, ate food, played video games, hang out with a few friends, go to Disneyland, get babied around by my family and literally wasted so many days here at home doing absolutely nothing. I don't want to grow up. The real world frightens me.

**I write one of these every summer

--xo Nessa