July 6, 2015

Helpful Healing: Negativity Towards Oneself.

As much as I love to be alone and away from everything including food there are times where I want to be surrounded by people who are full of joy and love. But, that's not how life goes. As for me I have been told that I am a very happy, funny and an easy person to get along with. However, in my eyes I don't see myself like that. I've never really seen myself as any of those things (I'll give myself the dorky-funny since people seem to laugh around me/at me). I've always had the thought that I'm never good enough or that things that I do/say are just completely stupid. I also start to think that it's better if I just stay quiet and keep to myself rather than talk to others. Now I've always known that these thoughts aren't mentally healthy but I've been working on it for several years to try and improve the way that I think of myself. I've improved a lot over the past years but lately i've been taking several steps back and i'm not quite sure why.

I have come to several hypothesis as to why I've fallen backwards:

  • I currently have nothing to aim high for.
  • I don't have friends? around to talk to and interact with here in Kentucky.
  • I have forgotten who I am.
  • The thought of being an adult scares me.
  • The future is also very scary...
  • I've been putting others happiness before my own !!

Now I know that I am not alone and if you're reading this and you feel the same way as I do you're clearly not alone since I'm here with you spilling my thoughts out. The thoughts we have might be a bit different but they are very similar. Sooo... I'm here to try and help you as well as remind myself of what has helped me in the past. Just remember that this isn't professional advice and is just what I have learned from my own personal experiences. I hope that they help you too!

Find a hobby
Simply find anything that you enjoy to do and just do it! Don't care what anybody else thinks and just enjoy it. It can be anything from singing, dancing, painting, fishing, exercising to collecting pocket lint. If it gives you any kind of joy DO IT!!
Keep a journal
Keeping a journal and writing down how you're feeling that day is always a good way to help get things off of your chest. When I write things down I often times feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Now, if you feel like you have nobody to talk to or you simply just don't want to talk to anybody about whatever it is write it down. A journal is a safe place. You don't have to write it in everyday. Just remember to write it in frequently enough to remember that there are good days and bad days. Not everything is so bad afterall :)
Express your emotions
Smile, Laugh, Cry... Do whatever it is that you need to do and express yourself. It is healthy to express your self and emotions. Having things all bundled up doesn't help out the situation. Do whatever it is that you feel like doing and do it like nobody's watching you. Try and think back to how things were when you were still in the single digit ages. We didn't care about anything too exciting and we expressed our emotions all the time.
Often times when our thoughts become crowded with negativity we fall back into our shell and avoid everything. However, by socializing it can actually benefit the situation and before you know it your mind is somewhere in the sky with happy clouds again.
Stay busy
Staying busy helps keep your mind off of things. The more busy things you do the less you think about whatever is going on. This is similar to having a hobby. When you're preoccupied things are just a lot easier to handle.
Learn how to meditate
Now I haven't ever done this to help calm my mind. But, I have done it during yoga and it's the most relaxing thing in my life. Never once has anything come across my mind during meditation besides "oh, i'm getting sleepy (falls asleep in 30 seconds)." For me I found meditation to be more relaxing with nice calming music. During meditation try and feel like as if your body is melting into the ground and also take nice deep breaths.
Inhale... Exhale... There's nothing special to it. Just breathe because everything is going to be okay. Things always get better.
Getting your heart pumping is a natural way for your brain to release feel-good brain chemicals which helps with the promotion of happiness. According to several researchers individuals who exercise more have greater feelings of excitement and enthusiasm than less active people. Plus it's good for your health and heart!
Remember that you're not alone
You are not alone in feeling alone. Remember that everything is going to be just fine and it gets better.

Feel free to leave comments about anything. I'm here to help. Much love, xo

**Photo does not belong to me**

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