January 20, 2016

Long Distance Relationships

Hello friends, sorry for my hiatus! But, today I'd like to share a few thoughts on long distance relationships.

Being in a long distance relationship is so soo hard and I already knew that going into this relationship. As you may or may not know I moved back to California to be with my family (because I thought thats what they wanted). It's been about 5 months or so and I'm still having a hard time getting into the swing of things. With that being said, I haven't seen Gary in almost 5 months and it's pretty rough the first month or so being away from him. I cried a lot (like A LOT), I reminisced, I overthought everything, I had the worst anxiety i've ever had, I got moody and I cried some more. But, after awhile you start to feel okay. You start remember the little things, you start to remember what all made you fall in love with them in the first place. Whether that be the way they make you laugh to the way they silently tell you that they love you or even just the way that their hair looks through facetime that day. You hold on to it.. you cherish it and you just go with it. You take everything one step at a time and keep going on with your day. Before you know it you're back with that person again and everything seems perfect again.

Of course there are going to be fights and stupid misunderstandings and there will be times where all you want to do is cuddle or go to the grocery store and shop for different types of cereal. And times where you just want to throw your iPhone for lagging during facetime or something so minute that throws you over the edge for one single moment and just like that you have the thought of giving up. Because you can't remember how it feels to be with that person anymore or you just want to stop feeling this pain. I can't say that I myself wanted to give up on the relationship but I did feel like as if I was at my lowest point in life, I felt so empty, so alone even though I was surrounded by so much love from friends and family. I just felt so depressed and there was nothing anyone could really do about it. I was so tired of feeling the pain.

Now lets fast forward to when you see your significant other again. Once you see them, your heart starts pounding your world's spinning, your palms are sweating and you're hyperventilating all at once. Theres a rush of so many different emotions that you don't know what to do with yourself. You feel as if you're going to pass out but you don't. You hug them, you kiss them, and you hold them and never let go because after all that time apart you fall even in love again and you forget that the past however long without them even happened. It feels like just another dream, but its real.. you can see them, you can hear them, you can smell their scent and you can finally hold them. And it's the greatest feeling in the world. You then spend time holding hands, cuddling and doing all the little mushy things couples do until it's time for them to leave again. You become so grateful for the time that you two spend together and you wish they could stay longer. You hug and kiss and possibly cry your eyes out (me :])and then they're off and its back to the beginning. The waiting game begins, but you remember that it's all completely worth it.

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